Today I’m thinking about change. At the Social Age Safari, I kind of sat this topic out and observed from a distance. I’d been so thoroughly engaged in the other two topics that I felt a bit burnt out by the time we got to Friday’s discussions. [I had also had two extremely late nights prior to Friday due to my surprising inability to navigate Bristol’s buses at night. More on that in a separate blog.] I watched and listened and tried to think on my own, back in the writing nook, about change in the Social Age.
I love change, and I have discovered that I am a very restless person as a result. I may learn to be content where I am, but I’m always wondering what else is out there. I have never stopped looking at job postings even though I really do love my job and don’t plan to leave this employer anytime soon. I’m always wondering: What if there’s something better out there? I might miss it! And when I say ‘better’ I don’t necessarily mean better pay—I mean better for me. More suited to my skills and goals and interests. More money is a plus but that’s not the only, or even primary, driving force behind my searches.
This restlessness also applies to my current job, specifically. I’m always trying to find better ways of doing things. I love to look at processes and make improvements. My mind is always running ahead to how I’ll do something next time, even if it worked fine the way I did it this time. In my mind, ‘it worked fine’ isn’t good enough. Things can always be better. Maybe there’s a new program that will make things easier, or a person I can contact as a resource for ideas. I am driven to do my best at all times, and since ‘best’ is elusive and mostly unachievable I always have motivation to improve what I do and how I do it.
I have a sign I sometimes put up in my cubicle that sums up how I feel about change:
Δ = Progress
So where does this line of thinking take me today? I’m not sure. I sometimes struggle with articulating my own feelings on learning, leadership and change and how those actually fit into what I do every day. My personal opinions and feelings often contrast with what is expected of me professionally and I sometimes have to decide how overt I want to be about my drive for change. I’ve always believed that a little subversion is good for everyone, but how much subversion is too much? How many times can I ‘do first and apologize later’ before I go too far and am reprimanded or lose my job? And ultimately, why do I have to ask myself these questions in the first place?